First-time parents: what to do in the first few weeks with your baby

Once you are home, the priority is not to get back to your old routine straight away, but to build a new one around your baby. For a more detailed guide to settling in after coming home, see our guide to the first days at home with your baby. There will be feeds, nappy changes, stretches of sleep and times when you cannot work out why your baby is crying. Calm observation is more useful than trying to follow the exact same pattern every day.

Wash your hands before picking your baby up, and ask anyone else who is going to touch them to do the same. Always support their head and neck, especially when lifting them, putting them down or holding them upright. Skin-to-skin contact, speaking softly and gentle touch can help your baby settle and support bonding, but none of these practices needs to become an obligation.

It is also fine to limit visitors. Someone who is genuinely helping might bring food, do the shopping or take on a specific task; they do not have to come just to meet the baby. If someone is unwell, they should postpone contact. Your pace and your rest are part of caring for your baby too.

Feeding often raises many questions. How often and how long babies feed varies from one baby to another and can change from day to day. Unless the team caring for your baby has given you different advice, pay attention to their hunger and fullness cues and raise any concerns with your midwife or paediatrician.

Rather than focusing on a single number of feeds or wet nappies, look at the overall picture: whether your baby seems content after feeding, has regular wet nappies, seems much like their usual self and is having their weight checked at appointments. If you breastfeed, a breastfeeding specialist can be helpful if you have pain, questions about latch or concerns about milk transfer. If your baby is formula-fed, prepare bottles by following the instructions on the packaging and the advice given by your healthcare professional exactly, and do not change the concentration yourself.

Some babies swallow air and may need a pause or to be held upright for a while after feeding; others do not burp every time. There is no need to insist or treat every bit of wind as a problem. If your baby repeatedly refuses feeds, vomits again and again or you are worried that they are not getting enough milk, ask for a professional assessment.

Before changing a nappy or your baby’s clothes, get everything ready and keep one hand on your baby if they are on a raised surface. Never leave them alone, even for a moment. Clean gently, pat dry rather than rubbing and change the nappy when it is wet or dirty. If a rash appears, keep the skin clean and dry and seek advice if it does not improve or gets worse.

The umbilical cord gradually dries before it falls off. Follow the instructions from your maternity unit or health centre, keep it clean and dry and avoid handling or pulling it. If you notice redness that is spreading, a bad smell, discharge or bleeding that does not stop, contact a healthcare professional.

During the first few weeks, baths can be short and simple; there is no need to make them part of a daily routine. Until the cord has fallen off and the area has healed, follow the advice you have been given about cleaning it. Always check the water with your hand, hold your baby securely and do not step away for even a second while they are in the water. When you go out for a walk, choose a comfortable time, avoid direct sunlight and use a pushchair or baby carrier that is suitable for your baby’s age, correctly adjusted and used according to the instructions.

For sleep, always place your baby on their back, both in a cot and in a Moses basket. The surface should be firm and clear: no pillows, soft toys, cot bumpers, duvets or loose objects around their head. Avoid overheating and keep their surroundings smoke-free. Your baby should sleep on their own sleep surface. Keeping the cot or Moses basket in your room makes it easy to keep them close without using the adults’ bed. If you want to read more about sleep and night wakings, see our guide to baby sleep and night wakings.

In the car, your baby must travel secured in a suitable child restraint system that has been installed correctly. Never carry them in your arms, even for a short journey. The same care applies to a pushchair and baby carrier: check the fit, position and limits given for a newborn.

There is one rule with no exceptions: never shake your baby or move them roughly. During these first weeks, support their head and neck properly. If the crying becomes too much, place them on their back in their safe space, step away for a few minutes and ask someone else to take over. Stepping away to regain control is a safety measure, not a failure.

You do not have to decide on your own whether something is normal. If a baby under 3 months has a temperature of 38 °C or above, they need immediate medical assessment. If anything else seems serious or is getting worse quickly, seek urgent medical help.

• Call your health visitor, GP or paediatrician if you continue to have questions about feeding, nappies, skin, the cord or your baby’s behaviour.
• Get immediate help if your baby is struggling to breathe, is unusually drowsy, cannot feed or shows worrying signs of dehydration, bleeding or infection.

Looking after yourself does not mean stepping away from your baby. Sleeping while someone else takes over, eating something, having a shower or going out for a few minutes can help you get through the day. Share tasks clearly and accept support before you reach your limit. If sadness, anxiety, irritability or the feeling that you cannot cope continues, talk to a professional.

During these first weeks, you will learn as you go. The aim is not to control every detail, but to provide a safe environment, meet your baby’s basic needs, notice changes and ask for help when you need it.